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gender.

November 16, 2012

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how freaky people get about clear gender lines, especially now that I have a baby.  There seems to be a big thing about what can ‘be for boys’ and what can ‘be for girls’, and crossing that boundary is a huge no no.  I grew up in a house where HeMan’s castles were regularly overrun with My Little Pony, or Barbie’s Corvette was commandeered by GI Joe or my personal favourite, Python Patrol. (Anyone?  Cobra?) Python Patrol (the bad guys) were always my favourite to play with.  And we still have them.  Jord had a man doll.  (Still around, people. It lives in his basement.)

I recently read a blog post about nail polish.  The blogger was writing about how her son wanted to have nail polish, and she let him.  The question asked was, would you?  Several people commented on the post and the answers varied.  Lots of people had comments like, ‘I wouldn’t let my girl wear nail polish,’ or ‘no, because nail polish has chemicals.’  Both completely missing the point.  The point is…would you let your son do something that is completely ‘girly’ or not?  There was a comment from a reader that spoke to me.  It said:

I know a lot of people disagree with the above, or with giving their boy something pink, or their girl something manly.  (I’ll maybe get into the double standard another day) I grew up in a house where self-expression to an extent was encouraged, welcomed and appreciated.  My dad wore short cut off jean shorts…if that’s not expression, I don’t know what is.  And I can SAFELY say, that if either my brother or I had turned out gay, straight, bisexual, in love with trees or a female truck driver or a male ballerina, they would have loved us just the same.  Self-confidence comes from a great role model, not from a toy or TV show.  Caring and kindness are learned, and don’t just happen.  Independence comes from making choices, learning from mistakes and being your own person.  It doesn’t make sense to me to pigeon-hole boys to trucks and girls to dolls.  So what if he wants a tutu?  And who the hell am I to tell him no?  I want him to grow up to be confident, caring, kind and compassionate.  To be a good person, with a good heart, who takes care of others, but not before he can take care of himself.  And trying to limit him to be a certain way scares me.  I’m not saying I am going to paint his room pink or start dressing him in dresses.  But seriously, if he asks for one, a dress he will get.

There are so many amazing things that have happened during my lifetime.  Things that were considered ‘girly’ are now becoming more popular for both genders, like figure skating or gymnastics.  They are athletes, and both train hard and exhibit huge capabilities of strength.  Man or woman, both sports are intense.  Not girly.  Women have been rocking the trades, and have been choosing professions like welding, sheet metal, electrical and plumbing.  More men are selling Avon and Mary Kay.  Humans are supporting each other and stepping out of these ‘gender roles’ we’ve set out for ourselves.  We’ve realized that anyone can swing a hammer.  Anyone can dance.  Anyone can wear a dress, high heels and lipstick.  And we’ve discovered that more and more, we’re okay with it, and can actually support each other.  I think we’ve come a long way in a good direction.

I feel some comments coming on…express yourself!

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15 more days…

November 15, 2012

Then mat leave is over. And I’m not sure what’s in my future. And I’m scared. It’s so close. 😦

I can’t believe that in just two short little weeks, my boy will be going off to daycare and I will be going back to work (???). Fingers crossed.

I struggle to even believe he’s here, and he’s almost 1. Time flies! Two weeks of snuggling this SQUISHY face!

jack’s dad.

November 14, 2012

Believe it or not, there is a man behind this whole ‘child-rearing’ operation.  It’s November, which means that we have been hanging around each other for SEVEN years.  As a person who considers herself non-committal, this is a giant accomplishment.  That sounds horrible, but it’s true.  I never thought I would ever spend that long with someone.  Luckily for me, he’s handsome, tall AND easy to live with. (And he puts up with me.) CW, FTW!  And I read a quote recently, that said, “The couples who are ‘meant to be’ are the ones who go through everything that is meant to rip them apart, and come out stronger in the end.”  I couldn’t agree more.

Being married is hard, and adding a baby is even harder.  But sticking together and trying to love each other through the dark times helps.  And having the necessary ‘critical conversation’ now and then works wonders.  Communication is the most important thing and we work on keeping our communication open.  The most amazing thing is being able to grow with someone.  Learn life lessons and have someone to share life with.  I can’t believe I have that.  I’m thankful everyday.

Here are some awesome things about that man I married:

  • He lets me watch horrible TV.  And he judges silently.
  • We watch baseball together.  It’s fun.
  • Seeing him with the boy is pretty fantastic.
  • He lets me have a life and hobbies and time to be myself.  For that, I love him.
  • Sometimes we talk in sports analogies.  It works.

I am excited for the next seven years and what they bring us.  My handsome guy.

awkward post baby mullet hair

November 13, 2012

As I write this, I am frantically trying to tame my weird hair wings, as my straightener is still dead and my backup pulls my hair out.  Thanks to my pal, Crystal, this is all going to be rectified tomorrow, and I will be able to smooth out my post preggo hair imperfections once again.  (C has graciously offered me her old Chi straightener, and I accepted.  Thank you so much!)  I’m not sure why it happened or what the deal is, but I read somewhere that you grow a pile of extra hair because your hormones are on fire (true story) and then when the baby comes out, you lose it all and it comes out in giant clumps in the shower and on your pillow.  Unfortunately for me, more than just that new fun hair fell out and I did have  couple bald spots I was a little afraid of.  Well, fear not, as the universe (mother nature?) had other plans for me and my hair.  She gave me a mullet.  On top of my real hair.  You read that right.

I have this weird two inch haircut on top of my existing hair.  Imagine Billy Ray Cyrus’ hair, from the 80’s.  Yeah!  It’s like that. So until my awesome gift of a mullet grows out, I will be smoothing ‘er out and exercising my right to use product galore.  Tame the beast.

I wish I could show you what it looks like.  Wait…no I don’t.  From me and my mullet, I hope you all have a glorious day!! xx

I blew it.

November 12, 2012
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Ughhhh I failed. This weekend was a little crazy. I traveled away to work for the night and then traveled back home and spent time with my boys. I missed out on two days of blogging. Oh well! I will take 28 days.

I’m so excited for the upcoming holidays, I can’t even stand it. I can’t wait to show Jack the Christmas tree and the lights and maybe even the Christmas train. The older I get, the more I want to just spend time with family, enjoying time being together. I can’t wait to begin new traditions and introduce him to the old ones. I’m just so excited for him to have his “first” Christmas!! (Especially since he didn’t want to arrive for last Christmas!)

Do you have any awesome holiday traditions?

craigslist joe.

November 9, 2012

Tonight I watched a movie I had been wanting to see for a long time.  Craigslist Joe is basically about a guy who decides to live for 31 days exclusively off of Craigslist and travel the US.  The film’s purpose is basically to see if the human spirit and generosity still exists in the world of technology.  Proven.  It does.  And I think in the age of technology and social media, this is even more possible than it ever has been before.  You can put a bulletin out on Facebook, and usually someone can help you find what you’re looking for.  If you post something on Craigslist, you can reach a huge audience of people who will buy your dresser or look after your kid or even walk your dog.

I love things like this.  The human spirit never disappoints me.  It’s easy to focus on the bad things (Craigslist Killer, anyone?) but I think generally, good people are connecting with good people.  I’ve had some amazing experiences in my life, with people I don’t even know.  Check out the trailer.  It’s a good one.

8th Day

November 8, 2012
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Wahoo! I’m pretty proud of myself. I’ve completed 8 posts in 8 days for Nablopomo. I’ve made some blog friends, have read more than my fair share of amazing, inspiring and hilarious posts by other participants.
Best of all, I feel like I haven’t sucked and bailed on the entire challenge. It feels so good!

I’m exhausted though.

So I’m going to bed. Well. Goodnight!