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leaving.

August 19, 2012

There’s always the dreaded first time you leave your baby overnight. There’s a lot of anxiety, mixed feelings and pressure on yourself to just bail and cancel your plans and stay with that little muffin after all. But, it’s something most of us will do, and just have to be strong and go with it.

So, recently I was invited to go to Vegas for my 30th birthday. How can you not go? My parents offered to take Jack for the four days, and it was set. I was leaving him and going on a mini vacay to celebrate my third decade on earth. As we pulled out of the driveway and watched our little guy wave (smashing arms up and down frantically, aka waving) and flash us gummy smiles, I totally cried. I cried for the next 40km of our drive home. It was sad, and I was going to miss him, and would my mom really follow the four pages of directions I had carefully typed up and emailed her? Would we survive this week?

We arrived home. It was quiet. I didn’t have to give anyone a bath. And suddenly…the freedom started to feel nice.

I woke up the next morning ON MY OWN. It was too much. Guilt began creeping up, and I felt like the worst mother in the world.  Guilt, guilt, guilt. It began to feel so easy to be away.  So carefree and relaxing.  Total guilt!

The trip came and went with many laughs, lots of sights, and fond thoughts of home. We drove back up to the cabin to collect the Bunny man, and I was so anxious to see his little face.  We arrived during bath time. It’s the time of day where he gets kind of cranks, so I wasn’t sure what to expect. We walked in and he started crying. Confused, obviously. Giving him that big hug in his little dinosaur towel made my day, week, year. I missed him!

It’s nice to take a break. I think it’s super healthy for both parties and I know as a kid I LOVED sleepovers at my grandma’s. It’s hard to leave him, but it’s the best feeling in the world to come home!

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One Comment leave one →
  1. August 24, 2012 2:11 pm

    I was probably just as sad as Jack considering I had a kid while you were away and am just as needy of you as he is! Glad you had a good time and got that much needed and well deserved break!

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